True Friends

What is a friend? If researched, I am sure to find many of definitions and explanations of a friend or friendship. If I had to break it down to my understanding of a true friend, I would use each letter in the word “friendship” to do so.

Forgiving -  Many people claim to be friends but often walk away during rough patches. How can you then define yourself as a friend? I equate friendship to marriage. Reason being, it’s understandable and expected for husbands and wives to disagree sometimes. However disagreement can never over ride love. True friendship is love and will forgive once wronged.  Once you share that genuine bond with someone, no misunderstanding will ever divide that. Even death can’t. You will be physically apart but spiritually connected through memories.

Right - Right? What does she mean by saying right? Exactly what it means. A true friend is a right friend. Often times we gravitate to the wrong people. Never taking time to analyse them but trusting them with our lives. Sharing our inner most secrets. I am sure many of us burnt or have to burn with a couple of people  before we start practising proper observing techniques. I am hoping after this blog, you will try to avoid being burnt.

Inspirational - “I love you. Best friends forever. Hey let’s go sniff some cocaine and get drunk. Who knows, we can get laid to.” Does this sentence show any signs of friendship? I hope your answer is no. When choosing friends, we suppose to choose people who are driven. Persons who will motivate us to reach for the asteroid belt because the stars are to close.  People who will use tough love to inspire us and not let us go a-stray.  Any time you feel like you are drifting away from who you are and into the wrong direction, then yea that’s definitely a wrong friend.

Exciting -  What excitement has to do with friendship right? A lot. Let me put it this way. Weary and sad minds, creates evil plans to get back to society and this may harm you in the process. Don’t get me wrong. We all have our down days but having a down day does not brand you as unexciting. However, having a series of complaints, never liking anything done, even hating on your “friends” outfit defines a not excited friend. These people will weigh us down. Have us feeling like we have the world of problems and no answers. In a nut shell, it’s best to have friends who are driven and all about getting the job done but at the same time can be down to earth and have a little fun.

Natural - I can say, natural hair, since I am into mines now but that would be ridiculous…lol.  When I use the term natural, it simply means pure, genuine and not fake or unreal. A person who carries a pure spirit is usually difficult to find but when found should be a keeper. Just being around them, tends to be uplifting, redeeming, gratifying. This is something that I can’t find all the right words to explain because it’s more of a spiritual internal happening. It’s just that person we  can talk to and even if our problems don’t go away in a second we still feel some form of liberation.

Deep -  Yes deep. We don’t need shallow minded persons to give us a brain drain. It may sound harsh but it’s true. Again I say, these kinds of people are sometimes the main reasons we feel aimless, worthless, tired etc.. For the fast pace world we’re existing in today, there are hardly any rooms for crashing over and over and over. I believe you have more than one chance to redeem yourself, it depends on your success drive but in modern world we say, you only get one shot. So having a friend who is not just taking everything on the surface as it is served would be great.

Stable - Stability is a key need in every relationship. Be it friendship or otherwise. Having someone who is unstable only leads to shipwreck. Stable, then able to conquer all odds and yes friends do conquer situations together.

Humble - It’s always good to be humble and it’s even better to have a humble friend. This makes things easier for both parties. Being corrected or doing the correction can now be done with ease, once the person is humble. Any time you think you know too much and is too old to learn or is young and wants to do it all alone, then you are definitely not humble and not into friendship entirely.

Important - A true friend is important and treats us the same. They become like family. For example, I have a girlfriend who if she doesn’t see a twitter or Facebook update for the day she calls because of concern. I always appreciate that. I’m not saying to test your friends this way but that’s a perfect example. When the thought of you being down or in danger can bother sometime and push them to check on you, know you are important and that is a good friend. So return the favour and make them important.

Powerful -  A powerful friend is the icing on the cake. It’s like getting the one thing you’ve always wanted. Most of the time, you earn respect from other people because of that friend. You don’t want a friend that’s intimidating or do you want to hide behind your friends strength but it’s always good to have someone who will stand with you even in the darkest hour.

There are so many factors to friendship but that’s as far as I will go. Why am I so into having good friends? It’s because I am one of the persons who had to burn to learn. My mother always saw them for who they were but as a teenager, I wanted to do it all on my own (Not Humble). I felt like my mom wanted to live my life and hers. Boy was I wrong. We often go through that stage. It’s part of growing up and having that hunger for maturity and responsibility. But I think God would have created all of us at the same time, with the same experiences, if he didn’t think we needed nurturing, guidance and a series of experiences to grow into a magnificent being. If I go to share some of my experiences with you, this blog would be super long. You would get tired of reading…. lol. To drive this point home, I will create another blog on friendship, sharing some of the things I went through and how I dealt with it. In the mean time, you can start analysing the people in your life, not only by my rules but also do some research. Educate yourself and come up with ideas of your own. Doing so will actually help you develop skills to deal with society. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and we have to be as equipped as we can. Remember the saying ladies, “friends carry you but don’t bring you back”, I will say though “A true friend grabs you by the hands, shoots of with you and don’t settle until they are comfortable and see you the same.”

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