Ladies, let’s have some Public Etiquette


This blog is inspired by a true story.

It has all been told to us; women should be seen and not heard. This is a common public rule taught and embedded in our system from childhood. Some of us take heed and I guess others don’t. Or maybe, unfortunately, the examples they had, were no example at all. Tell me. Why do some women expound on their personal issues loud in public? Not forgetting to add expletives in there. Women have already been deemed as very garrulous or a big – mouthed specie, so why do we then take it a notch further by embarrassing who we represent?

On January 24th, 2012 I was totally embarrassed being a woman sitting among men at a football game. There was a particular young woman, who obviously has a lot of personal relationship issues. Now there is a reason for it being called “personal”. Simply means, all about you (My Definition). She received a phone call and upon answering it, went at it. There were some guys a distance off, who immediately turned at looked at her with scorn. Her mannerisms were of poor taste. They then looked at me, while I was bowing my head in shame. This young lady carried on like this all through the first half, half time and second half of the game. She was even trying to start a battle with another female there, which ignored her entirely. Thank God!!!! Why Why????? was ringing out in my head. This is just one scenario and I am not going to brand all women like this but I’ve seen other things to know there are many women out there who don’t carry themselves as gentlewomen, hence I am taking this opportunity to teach both you and I some etiquette for women.

NB: Etiquette list taken from behavioural professionals.

We often complain that we don’t get good guys but have you ever thought that maybe what you put out is what you going to get in. Yes we’ve heard, what you put you feed your soul with is the very same will emerge but in this case it’s the other way around. If you put “bad” behaviour out there, then you will attract a man who is the epitome of “badness”. I have learnt that who you are is who you attract. There are the rare cases that this does not apply however its is more common. So ladies take a look at this list below of etiquette designed just for you. Things which I am sure will help you become a better person and bring out the true Eagle In You.

Etiquette Definition: Etiquette is a code of behavior that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

List of Etiquette

  • A true gentlewoman can be distinguished at first glance.  There is a quiet self-possession about her that marks her out from the boisterous. Self-effacement is the rule of good manners.
  • A gentlewoman goes quietly along, intent on her own business.  She walks quietly through the streets, seeing and hearing nothing that she ought not to see and hear.  A good talker should be possessed of much general information, acquired by keen observation, attentive listening, a good memory, and logical habits of thought.
  • Simplicity and terseness are characteristics of a well-educated lady.  She never uses vulgarisms, flippancy, coarseness, triviality or provocation in her speech.  Scandal is the least excusable of all conversational vulgarities.
  • A lady is sympathetic, unselfish and animating in her listening.  To show any interest in the immediate concerns of people is very complimentary.  She must maintain cheerful conversation.  Religion and politics should never be introduced into conversation, for they are dangerous subjects to harmony.
  • A lady never interrupts the speech of others, nor does she discuss private matters in public.  
  • A lady avoids all exhibitions of temper before others.  Whether grief or joy, emotions should be subdued in public and only allowed full play in private apartments.
  • She never talks loudly, or laughs boisterously or does anything to attract the attention of passers-by.
  • A lady never forms an acquaintance upon the street, or seeks to attract the attention or admiration of persons of the opposite sex.
  • A lady never looks back after anyone in the street, or turns to stare in a public place.  She should never walk alone in the street after dark.  
  • She keeps from contact with her neighbor in public conveyances as much as is possible, never leaning up against another or spreading her arms.
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20 thoughts on “Ladies, let’s have some Public Etiquette

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  2. This is a joke. Please, please, for the sake of humanity tell me this is a joke. Let me get this straight. You say these are characteristics of a “well-educated” lady, but no one with an education would agree with what you are saying. Someone who has been brainwashed and trampled into submission by society, a discriminatory authority, and/or sexist, misogynistic manipulators—they would agree with you- but an educated woman, no.

    Females should “subdue emotions in public”, including laughter, and go quietly about her own business with no talk of religion or politics, and no show of any emotion. She should not “see and hear anything she ought not see and hear” while walking down the street. She shouldn’t even lift her arms too far out to the side for fear of making too much of a show.

    It seems as if your goal is to transform anything with a vagina (oops, is that a dirty word?) into a deaf, blind, dumb, empty shell of a human. You condemn others and their “personal” relationships based on one cynical glimpse in their direction, when you really should be looking at yourself. Be comfortable with who you are. You have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a brain that deserves to have some say in the way you live YOUR life- so start using it.

    • Thank you for your comment and no when I wrote that a year ago, I was not trying to transform anyone, neither am I up to this present time. If you understand where this post came from at the time it was written you may beg to differ on your very palaverous comment. However, again I say thanks. We are all entitled to our opinions and unlike you, I respect yours. …………Oh and about the word vagina, no it’s not a dirty word. God bless. 🙂

      • Perhaps a quick note at the top to inform readers of a behind-the-scenes goal that isn’t just shaming and degrading women would help. Much respect to your opinion as well, I guess I just have a hard time discerning where it’s coming from.
        Love,
        A fellow Vagina

    • I felt the need to set you straight on one thing. There was a line in the blog that stated “NB: Etiquette list taken from behavioural professionals”. ……….So to clarify for you on ” Let me get this straight. You say these are characteristics of a “well-educated” lady, but no one with an education would agree with what you are saying”…….. I did not come up these characteristics. I stated my case earlier on in the blog. 🙂

      • I agree that it’s “ancient”. Having written this when I did not know any better, at the time would have seem right for me because of my lack of knowledge,self-esteem, etc but now I am more informed. So if I had to do it all over again, it would be different.

        Thank you for your comment. God bless. 🙂

  3. Honestly some of these are very victorian and outdated…and even really using the term ‘a lady’ is somewhat frowned upon, misogynistic and sexist, bound by societal norms etc. A woman. But whatever. I agree with some but not all, theres a time and place for everything. But concealing emotion and laughter…please. Men should behave no different than women socially…everyone is equal, societal norms are bs.

    • I agree with you. This blog was written back in 2012, when I was coming out of a place of hurting and lack of knowledge as I have now. I didnt know much hence I used what the behavioural professionals said. If I am now to write a piece on this particular topic it would sure be different.

      Thank you for your comment. God bless. 🙂

      • No. I was not offended. This is what blogging is about. Perspectives and opinions being shared. You are right though, I dd quote this from a behavioural professional site.

      • I figured it was a quote, seemed like Emily Post. Im all for etiquette. I try to never make an ass of myself but sometimes I do but that’s life. Theres a difference between a random act of stupidity and a sense of entitlement like that phone girl.

  4. I am clearly not a lady! But then I have never proported to be anything but the woman I am…with basic good manners, a sensitivity toward other’s, an openess and honesty and someone who can be trusted at all times.

  5. Well, I’ll be honest. Before reading the comments I was ready to join the angry mob; now I see your point. It was from a long time ago…your thoughts clearly are not the same from before.

    I would love if you would redo this. Maybe I’m wrong, but you seem like you are a woman of faith. So perhaps pulling something what it means to be a lady from a godly standpoint, or not. Either way I would like to see this redone and possibly quote something more “up-to-date”. And I don’t consider being called a lady misogynistic at all. It’s better than hearing women refer to themselves a B’s, hoes and everything else under the sun.

    Perhaps a follow up on your own journey from this blog to now on finding out what it really means to be a lady, to be ladylike.

    I wish you all the best and continue writing!

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