Common saying, opposite attracts. If you are talking about a magnet, then yes, I fully agree but when it comes to relationships, that statement isn’t always entirely true. So it’s quite common to see a full size woman with a small man, or white with black, Indian with black, quiet with rowdy but still it doesn’t adds up to the real entity of relationships. Relationships are much more than modern society perceives it to be. That’s exactly why we are falling into the “Kim Kardashian Effect”. I meet today, love you tomorrow, get laid the next and on day four we’re no more. For real? I’m sure if I did a survey on ladies whose been in relationships turmoil by the second month, I would get a high percentage. Why is that? Have you ever stop to think ladies? Well judging from many situations I’ve observed, as well as my very own, I’ve deduced, who you are is who you attract.
Why say such a thing? Before I share a particular experience of mine with you, let me juggle your mind a bit. Stop and think about the guy or guys whom you have had the worst relationship/s with. When did you meet him? How did you meet him? How were you feeling about yourself at the time? Were you influenced by a friend to venture into the relationship? Did you want to have a relationship at all or just ended up going with the flow? These are very pertinent questions that can actually help you figure out where you went wrong in past relationships and help guide for future ones. I know because I had to do it myself.
So I am writing and sharing pieces of me with you. You may be thinking, wow, she has it figured all out. The truth is I don’t. I am still getting things into perspectives. However I’ve gained knowledge from what I’m about to share with you. The photos attached are real photos captured from my Facebook page.
In the year 2010 I met a former villager of mine via Facebook. I was by no means interested in talking to him or any other guy, since I was just out of a hurtful relationship. His attempts on numerous occasions were all void until my God-sister told me, he asked her to help him get through to me. At the time I was shock and thought of it as, he is very interested in me. Look at the extent to which he went. This led to me responding the next time he popped up on chat. Little did I know, I was opening the door to one of the most unhappy and dejected person on earth. He offered to take me out and I humbly obliged. The nights events made me feel intrigued or so I thought. The very next weekend we went to a “Jah Cure” concert and surprisingly something happened that night which should have opened my eyes but boy I was blind…lol. The relationship was then understood. During the first month of the relationship, I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride. “we done….. ok back together, we done……. OK back together, we done….. OK back together.” I was like why the hell are you doing this and was on the verge of walking away. Then he said, “I am sorry, it’s just that I feel you are being to nice to me. I won’t do it again though. I want to treat you with Francis Fashion Shoe Locker styling (Make a statement without saying a word)”. Why did I fall for that? I have no idea. Things only got worst from there. During the carnival season he didn’t want me going anywhere and I still did, so he called it off. Found out I went out with some male friends and got abusive on me. (Reminder: It was already called off). The last straw was, when he pulled a knife and a chair for me all in one day during an argument. That slapped me hard, waking me out of a death sleep. I got the police to intervene and that was that. But wait it got worst.
He created another profile on Facebook and added me. I was careless with who I accepted as a friend, so he got a first hand view of my social networking. Caught up with him, dealt with that. However he made it his business to pry into my life and found out I was dating. So decided to defame me using the very same network where we met. He equated the money he spent on me during the relationship and was boldly asking for it in return. I was so angry and had thoughts of doing crazy things. Things that would have gotten me incarcerated. When he saw me in person he did not even mention money but rather was more interested in asking to reconcile. It didn’t work, so for days following he was on a “shit up campaign.” That caused me to do a reality check.
At the time I met this young man, I was a very unhappy soul. I felt aimless and without purpose. I hated myself and realize I was actually trying to find myself in him and not on my own. Contrasting his behavioural patterns and my feelings, I realized that I attracted exactly what I was giving off. This just didn’t happen to me but to many other women I know. This woman can also be you. It’s not advisable for a woman to think about having a relationship when she is not complete within herself. This usually leads to mayhem. I am sure many of you will agree that what you carry on the inside is what shows on the outer shell and that’s exactly the type of people who will try to get to know you.
What am I getting to? The usual from The Ladies Corner. Love yourself first before you think about loving any one. Also, if you are now coming out off a relationship, find yourself first in you and don’t rely on people to make you happy. When you build yourself on other people grounds, what’s going to happen when they walk away? They will take you with them and leave an empty shell. That empty shell will be you. You will end up feeling like I did. Off course The Ladies Corner don’t want that happening to you. So take heed ladies. Let you be your number one fan and the rest comes after.
Reminder: Remember to like my Facebook page and follow me on twitter. Share! Share ! Share! Love you guys – Candace.