This post is inspired by a tweet I saw a couple of days ago, as well as a comment I received on one of my past blog “Black Women – Enough of it” (https://theladiesfeed.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/black-women-enough-of-it/ ).
The tweet said: I don’t know why black women are fighting against each other. Don’t we realize we are going through the same thing?
The comment said: There you go. Blame the black woman again. We never get it right.
That comment was expected because I know, with all good intentions, comes the critics. However, this is exactly why I started writing. Although all the women reading this blog, won’t be black, one of my main goals is to reach out to black women. Why? Because we are all we’ve got. To some of you this statement may be silly and frivolous but it’s factual. I sat down and did an ethnic and race search of all the races that loves the black race and will do anything to see us happy. Not surprisingly, I came up with none. We already live in a world, where all man is for themselves. So hating races becomes easier and can be masked by self focus. Don’t get me wrong. I am not racist. Far from it because I am a mixed black. However,we all have red blood and breathe the same air and will die the death.
With that said, I must stress, that as women, especially black women, we need to have a greater cohesiveness. I am not saying, allow all in and be mother of love but, having respect for each other is vital and has no boundaries. In early January 2011, I was travelling to work and the driver was conversing with a “black woman” sitting next to me about her significant other. She was so proud to respond and I quote ” I doh have that. I prefer sleep with people man. If I have one, people go sleep with him, so let me do the sleeping. I doh care who vex. Is not my man at the end of the day.” My stomach felt sick. Her attitude was of poor taste. Then it hit me, there are many more like her existing. Why do we do this to each other? It’s clear she has some insecurities and prefers to deal with it that way. There is another situation I know of, where a “friend” slept with another “friend’s” lover, kept it a secret and maintained a friendship with the female as normal. There is no right words, I can find to describe it but sometimes, we as women portray ourselves to be our very own enemy. We operate like predator-prey with each other, when we should have each other’s back by just respecting, space, decisions, relationships, etc.
There is not much I can say about this. It’s self-explanatory. Start respecting each other ladies. As the tweet says, we all go through the same thing although it may differ in ways. My mom has a saying; ” The Caucasians hate us, the Indians hates us, the Syrians hates us, the Spanish hates us and we hate ourselves.” Although there are open-minded people of other races who has overlooked the barrier of racism, there are still many against us. So it would be so great, if we are not against ourselves. I hope this blog is understood in the right context. Let us love ourselves and celebrate it as a specie and a people. We are all we’ve got because lets face it, the men have a bromance going on that cannot be compared. I’ve actually seen the diverse races of men, sticking together more than women do. Also, if you don’t know, men look at the way we treat our own kind. So stand out. Be different. If you are that girl who inflict pain on women and again I stress on one of your black sisters, flip the script and think if it was you, would you like it. Let’s be ladies and be mindful of women feelings and emotions when dealing with situations. Oh and don’t use the excuse, “your man came to me”. It takes two horses to run a race, Even if he comes, send him away or walk away. Being a lady, doesn’t only entails, washing, cooking, cleaning, bearing kids, having a man and being educated. It also calls for decorum.
Love yourself and share the love. Love you ladies. – Candace.