As I write my blog this morning, my heart is resting in a pool of tears. Heavy, broken and yearning to be mended. Yet another obstacle has come my way and needs to be dealt with. How can I? Why should I? Where do I start? I have the pieces of the puzzle but don’t have the strength to put it together. In times like these I find myself wishing that I was a human without feelings, so that nothing would be able to break me but then what kind of life would I have? When God created emotions, it was for us to use it in expressing ourselves to him. So that without emotions, it’s better I be dead since I can express myself to God. The ruler of this world. I still ask myself why though. Is it necessary that I go through this pain that I can feel literally poking me in my chest. The pain that’s affecting other parts of my body from functioning properly. I guess it’s all part of life. The wins; the loose; the happiness; the sad; etc. In this very sunken state, God was still able to bring a word that has not taken the pain away but just gave me an advise, that if I yield to, will take the pain away.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Although I am weak, I can still go boldly before the Lord, just as I am. Shattered and tired. In his presence I will find, grace and mercy to heal, build and lift my spirit and for that I am very thankful. Trust when I say, in times like these, it is very difficult to pray. For the mind to process words, it feels like working in a construction site. There is something my mom always says “God knows the meaning of his saints groans”. So groan I will, before the Lord.
Maybe today you feel forlorn and consumed by the pain and hurt that exist in your life, please be rest assured that in-spite of the storm the anchor holds. Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”. God will NEVER leave you or forsake you. Though the road gets rough and you can’t see the light of day, remember that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning – Psalm 30:5. Since it will be difficult to call out to God, read the prayer below, asking God to take control of every situation and then relax in his presence as he work for you.
Dear God, It is me your child, coming before your throne today
Feeling depressed and consumed by the fire.
My strength has left my body and I feel alone
You said in your word you will never leave me or forsake me
You said come unto you all who are heavy laden and you will give rest.
So I come asking you to take me in your arms and hold me
Give me a peace that surpasses all understanding, so that I will be able to stand through it all
I believe every test is there to bring a testimony but while I wait to rejoice give me strength
Heal my broken heart God and rectify the situation as your heart desires
Because I know when you fix something, it is FIXED.
God I stand back and wait on you and in my waiting I praise you for it all.
Help me not to murmur but to patiently wait on you.
Thank you being God of my life and for working it out for me
In Jesus Name………….. Amen