Stumbling Block or Stepping Stone?


Blogging was my first step to recovery from a hard fall. I never had the intentions  of reaching out to people and helping them discover their potentials or see themselves through the eyes of God. However, it came with the process and I took it as a sign from God, that this is one of the things he would have me to do. It then became part of my existence. My passion to see people overcome and arise up and out escalated as the clock ticked away. The twenty-third (23) of this month would mark one year and four months since I’ve been writing and I say a heart-felt thanks to God for using me and to you for supporting the ministry. Arise Woman has however become part of my personal journey. I always gained something from each blog posted but lately I’ve realize that it was just the top of the water being poured out and in continuing to pour, it was time to face deeper issues. That is when it all began. Memories of the things that shaped me into being a writer starting popping up one by one and in all honesty, hurt me more than I expected. I thought I was healed but as things unfolds, the healing has just begun.

The fact that I wish some of these things never happened means that I hid them under a shell and not dealt with them. Instead of accepting them as stepping-stones, they became my stumbling blocks. As the scenarios flashed through my mind, day after day, it became very difficult for me to deal with and I found my self sinking into depression and trying to come out. The battle of the mind and spirit was growing stronger and started to affect me physically. For the people who knows me well, they would have seen the war on my face because though I tried smiling, the pressure of the process would still poke its head through the smallest crack. In keeping real with my self, I decided it was time for me to meet and speak with a professional on the matter and I did. This opened me up to a whole new world and way of thinking. I remember telling her, “I wish my pass never happened. I regret it”. I even found myself asking her, ” Why would God do this to me? Why would he use me when I have so many things  need fixing?. Her response was not only the answer to my question but the door to my new mindset. She said, ” God will not use someone who has not experience hurt to help someone who is hurting. Your hurt and pass is what he needs to help others arise. What I need you to do is accept your past. Deal with it and then transform it into being the weapon you use for warfare. So the next time they pop up, say, Father I thank you for my past“. Accepting my past? Is she crazy? That is the hardest thing to do. I however processed things over the past couple days and  have decided to say “THANK YOU GOD FOR MY PAST”.

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Why? In me denying the events that shaped me into who I am, is the same as me sanctioning the enemy as the ruler of my life. His characteristics is the total opposite to that of God. Which is failure, depression, basking in defeat, self-pity, sulkiness, self hate and the list of negativity can go on. If I don’t acknowledge Gods power, then I am sitting in the enemies shower. Ewww. I don’t want to bathe in that dirty water. It’s been noted though, when you decide to use your past as stepping-stones, that’s when it seems to raise its head the most. “Don’t forget me. I am here”, it seems to shout and that’s exactly what it did to me today. I received a message from someone who have not spoken to me in months and the entire message was a regurgitation of an encounter we had. At first I was thrown off because I could not understand, why now or why such a random message. Everything in me wanted to retaliate with haste and anger, blasting that person to the cross but then that would have been me, running from the situation. So I prayed and then nicely replied thanking the person for the lesson learnt. It was dealt with. I refused this time to succumb to the thought of why but accepted it and used it as another foundation block.

This I know is only the beginning of dealing with the past and rearranging it into a beautiful flower. God gave me a song; Richard Smallwood – Total Praise (See below) and I will use it as reminder to where my eyes should be during this process. The bible says in Isaiah 59: 19 – So shall they fear the name of the Lord from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him. This is my comfort. That the Lord God almighty will fight for me and give me victory over death (my past) and add life as he says in Joel 2:25 – “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten– the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you.

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Don’t lose heart. You are not alone in wishing your past never happened. I know how bad it hurts. I know about the sleepless nights in tears and feeling shame when people don’t even know what your life “WAS” about. I am here to tell you, that all the enemy thinks he has stolen in your mistakes will be restored unto you promise the Lord. The first step to receiving this is to accept your past. Don’t run from it. Face it and hand it over to God. Allow him to use it for his honour and glory which will be revealed in  and through you. Say it with me. Father I accept my past and thank you for using it to shape me into who and what you want me to be. No longer will I weep for sadness but for joy, knowing my redemption draws nigh. Acceptance now gives birth to my victory in you Christ Jesus.

SONG – Total Praise

Lord, I will lift mine eyes to the hills
Knowing my help is coming from You
Your peace You give me in time of the storm
You are the source of my strength
You are the strength of my life
I lift my hands in total praise to You.

You are the source of my strength
You are the strength of my life
I lift my hands in total praise to You.

Amen, amen
Amen, amen
Amen, amen
Amen, amen

ARISE – Are you having problems dealing with you past? Know that is satan’s plan to distract you from what God has in store for you. We would love to lift you up in prayer. Send your prayer request to arisewoman@gmail.com.

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One thought on “Stumbling Block or Stepping Stone?

  1. Pingback: Relationship Talk: Love You | Arise Woman

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