Pillow Talk: Why Should I Apologize For Being Me?

I know the title can cause many eyebrows to raise, since most times, homosexuals are the ones who would often use sentences like these. However, I write not from the view of a homosexual but a personal issue that I am sure many would be able to relate to.

Since I knew myself I was a lover of various hairstyles. Thanks to my aunts who would often comb my hair, I was privileged to rock them in some of the best styles in that era. As I got older the love for hair grew and I added nails to that. You were very sure to see me with my hair and nails always done. That was just me. Just like some people have a love for bags and shoes, I transcended my love elsewhere. After going through the riggers of “Jerry Curls”, weaves and straightening, I decided to transition back to natural hair. This was rocked for three years until recently when I decided to cut my hair.


Change was good and I was feeling the new hair do. Little did I know, that I was opening myself up for some licks. Because it was my birthday, I decided to do something a little different and so I added some braids to the hair at the top.


It was just a birthday do, which would eventually come out since I am not a big fan of weave (I use sparingly). I know everyone have their taste and due to that, it would not have been loved by all. However, I did not expect to hear what I did from a person I hold in high esteem. After sharing with the person I backslided (fell away from God) for two years, which was three years ago, they said to me, ” That explains it. Your backsliding is still affecting your present decisions “. This statement was made in relation to my hair style. You can imagine the look on my face because I know how much my love for God is. My hairstyle which is short lived can never fall into the category of my daily life with God. That statement left me questioning myself. “Was I really showing signs of backsliding”? It tugged and tugged on my heart until I said, ” I know who I am and this is me. This does not define my spirituality”. After all the things I’ve been through and how far God brought me, I would be a fool to backslide. My hearts desire is to serve God with my all. There are so many things I’m working on and maybe because I’m silent about it, people see the need to judge me as not holy.

Which brings me to this. We must be careful what we say to people. We must never be quick to judge someone by their outer appearance because you don’t know who they really are. I remember reading a picture of a scruffy looking man who said, a lady made her son scorn him but he wanted her to know how much qualifications he  had and that he chose to be how he was. That was his way of expressing himself and this is mine. Why should I apologize for who I am? When God me made me, he said, “Ta DA” and that had the love for hair in it also… Lol. I was not and will not be moved by it but I am asking you all, to not be fooled by the outward appearance of a man but do like God and look at the heart. This does not give me or anyone else the right to step outside of the will of God and cause a brother or sister to stumble but never be afraid to express who you are. That’s why I love Alexis Spight. She loves the Lord but also red hair, so she mixes the two and that’s perfectly fine.


Love yourself and do not let people’s perception of who you are hold you back.


Posted from WordPress for Android


2 thoughts on “Pillow Talk: Why Should I Apologize For Being Me?

  1. Amen, sister! If God looks at our hearts, then we must follow suit. It is the inside of the cup that matters.
    (By the way, I think your birthday weave is gorgeous…not that my opinion matters!) Love you. ❤

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