Waow – Relational Talk

I could not find another suitable title for this piece, hence the name. It may be a bit unprofessional but it depicts exactly how I feel, so I kindly ask that you bare with me just this once. *smiles*

For my ardent readers, you would most likely know that I had a very difficult past with friendships. It was not my best avenue of experiences, both in and out of the church but particularly that of the church. This left me wondering, how do I maintain bonds or even create them with persons who may give the red flags. Be honest.  We all see the red flags and I don’t mean the ones we dig up for but rather the little things that may not resonate well with our spirits. It is taught in churches across the world, love your brother and sister (which is the right thing) but we are never told to be wise about it or which is healthy or not. The minute you pull away you are branded as not being Christian like.  I can vividly recall an experience of mine, where a Pastor knew me to be best friends with someone and upon finding out  the friendship was broken, bugged me to rekindle it until I did and ended up getting bruised again. You can imagine how sick I felt. That’s because, according to him, I was not being a “Christian” by detaching myself from a very strong person of God. That’s the catch. She was indeed active and Holy Ghost filled but there was a big but. Something still was not right, which later revealed itself to me. I didn’t know my decision to back off was a good one until I came across these verses, TODAY.

2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 KJV

And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.  Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.


This letter was written to the church of Thessalonica but as we know is meant for our adhering even today. Within that friendship some things had me uneasy, since they showed signs of “none Christianity” and after much expression of these issues, seeing no change, I decided it would be wise to stay away and love her from a distance. Initially I had to FORGIVE her and as I did, loving her all over again became easy but it was from a distance. That was me, not counting her as an enemy but did also admonish her as a brother (sister), when the opportunity presented itself. It did not end there however. As I tried to be a “Christian” (inverted commas used for a reason), I began entertaining another Christian “friend”. And there were the red flags again. What was I to do? I backed off *chuckles*, though it did hurt me to.

However, as I read these words today something great struck me. Not because a person goes under the name ” Christian “, means we are meant to be there friend. We can be our brothers keeper, praying for them, ministering to them but still not create a FRIENDSHIP. Just to clarify if you thought those verses meant unbelievers, see the explained verses in the AMP version.

2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 AMP

But if anyone [in the church] refuses to obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but simply admonish and warn him as [being still] a brother.

Although persons may attend almost every church service or be active in church committees, they may still have issues to deal with and would not be conducive to uphold good friendships. You may ask, if we were all to shun them, who will be their friend. One, we are not to shun them but we wise in relating to these persons and two, God knows exactly who to align them with. If it happens to be you, be rest assured, he God, will grant you the wisdom for the friendship. However, for persons who like myself were or are trying to hold on to friendships because you were (are) trying to be a good Christian, though the hurt is terrible, nothing is wrong with letting go. As a child of God be reminded to pray when dealing with these issues, since you will not want to develop and habour hate or cause confusion. But letting go WITH A GOOD HEART ,is not a sin. It is biblically sanctioned.

This is a touchy issue and requires total guidance from the Holy Spirit but once you know you are spirit led, do not listen to the external voices that may want to stare you in the way they think is best. God knows best and will never stare you wrong. So walk away if you need too. WITH A GOOD AND CLEAN HEART, WALK, love them as a brother, admonish them but remember you can keep (clean -emphasized) distance.


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