Not an Option

The things we long to change will change, if only……….. (Incomplete sentence).


My mind has been one of my biggest struggles. Negative thoughts, after negative thoughts is what I’d daily habour and fight against at the same time. You may ask, then how do you write? What warrants you to encourage people? My motivation firstly comes from God and I also wish for others not to go through these situations (I’ve experienced) or, if they are going through, to encourage their souls. The worst thing is to have a negative mind. Everything around you seems dark. Not matter how white it may be, your mind through your eyes, sees black. This causes you to be miserable, making others around you miserable. However, there was a catch with me.

My negativity was solely me. Initially I shunned people and gave off an unacceptable social aura but as soon as I realized it was being noticed, I learnt the art of socializing well, while being a negative vessel. In the public it was all smiles; in my bedroom it was all cries.

Deep inside I knew I could change. Why? Because the woman I am longing to be was there before. She left when the traumas of life stepped in and a bitter woman was created. I prayed and dug up things to read, scripture verses, listened sermons, all with one aim. I was going to change. A copy of Joyce Meyers “Battlefield of the mind” was purchased also, which I am presently reading. In doing so, I started to see some changes and for a few days, life was awesome. I was positive, nothing could stop me. Then………. I fell. …….again. Down the extreme negative path. What was I to do now?

My first reaction would usually be one of giving up but this time I asked God, why. As I laid on my bed and spoke to him these resounding words came out of my mouth, “I will not stop until I see my victory. I need to see my victory!” There I felt a burst of zeal not to give up and realized that, ” The things we long to change will change, if only………..we don’t give up”. The change is inevitable when we purpose to fight, knowing that God is our source of strength and we can do all things through Christ.

I don’t know if you are like me but I daily carry a mental image of the woman I would like to be. She is such a sweet person (the girl I was before). The only difference is, she would be sweet with experiences. That’s the woman I see. Don’t get me wrong, I am nice now but do know who I can be and I am presently not that woman. Would I allow my fall to stop me? NO. Because the victory was intended to be mine, not the enemy. When I cease to fight and give up, he wins by default. If I don’t, he (satan) will never succeed because God promised me the victory through my endurance.

You see, its all about how badly you want something. The level of passion you have for that thing will determine how far you are willing to go to get it. I want change. I want to see my victory. I want to be that sweet person and I am going to be. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. This I believe. Do you believe you can?

Don’t think about giving up. That’s thoughts and time wasted. God is a redeemer and restorer and he is holding you. Don’t give up and you will see your VICTORY, in Jesus name. I decree and declare it.


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