The Renewed Project – Submittal 7


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Today is exactly eight (8) months and fourteen (14) days since I have documented anything about the renewed project. Most of you might have forgotten that I launched a personal challenge for my life called, “The Renewed Project” and I don’t blame you because I did also. Yes I know. You are thinking, “She not serious”; but yes I am.

Family this has been a rough (emphasized) season for me. Before I wrote this blog, I did a little recapping on my former submittables and was moved to tears. In each post I saw a strength that I have prayed for and I am now asking myself, “Where did it go? Where is that girl? Please come back Candace”. There was I, pushing you to “NEVER GIVE UP” and “TRUST GOD IN THE STORM” but for this category 7 storm I have gone through and is still going, I almost gave up and stop trusting God in the process. Yes I am admitting it because I believe it’s important that you all know how weak I got. Weak. Very weak BUT GOD.

I can boldly say BUT GOD because somehow, through the pain, he touched me. Even when I did not recognize he was touching me, I was being touched. My prayer life dwindled tremendously and did so simultaneously with my WORD life. The days I read, my faith was boosted but for five minutes and then it was back to square one. “What was really going on with me”? For the life of me I could not have grasped the understanding of this season (yes its still here). However, I saw some things in me that I thought was DEAD. It’s either they were never dead and just subdued or was brought back to life through insurmountable doubting. In which ever way it came, those dirty traits were there and needed filtering. My family and significant other suffered at my hands because I did not know how to deal with what I was going through. I was ready to give up. One day I even told God, “I am tired of this and will not commit suicide, so please take me”. What a stupid thing to ask because the mere idea that I got up day by day, though the storms were raging, meant that God had/ has a purpose for me to accomplish. However, in my mind it was “whatever! I am tired”.

Tired of what though? If I was to go in-depth of my situation (which I will over time), I am sure you would say, “Girl please. You ain’t got problems” but for me it was so gigantic. As I mentioned earlier, I saw some dirty traits; things that needed to go. I will vehemently say that, with such an acrimonious spirit, God was/ is not going to give me what he has for me because it will become contaminated. Sorry for the plain talk but I adamant on keeping it real. I am not going to be clandestine about this because often times we hide our faults from people and not help another realize, they too have a problem and can move on.

In me initiating this project, little did I know that it was going to take me on such a roller coaster journey. You know those that causes you to “throw up”. I would say my “throwing ups” were the getting rid of filthy rags. Things that will abort or stunt purpose-driven growth. As I sat on my couch tonight and cried out to God, he led me back to this project and I am ever so thankful for the Holy Spirit and his leading.

It’s been ages since I sat and wrote a proper blog. Though my blog was active, many a days it was excerpts from articles I read because my heart’s desire was not to have a dormant website, since I believe in my heart, this is Gods work. I am ecstatic to say that this piece is a reintroduction piece, for which words cannot express my present feeling. All of this was written to say that I have learnt so much along this tedious journey and will be sharing with you all. Many of the things I about to write may leave you flabbergasted but it is all in the end to give YAHWEH the praise.

Thank you for being a faithful, loving and supporting family to me. I love you all dearly.

Submitted by: Candace Cudjoe  – Your friendly blogger.

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2 thoughts on “The Renewed Project – Submittal 7

  1. Hi Candice,

    This piece has truly touched me tremendously. God’s purpose for our lives is unprecedented, hence, when the Holy Spirit guides, to us it is mind blowing. We serve the great I AM!! Nothing is ever too much for God. Often too much we frequently limit Him, blinded profusely by our inconsistency. Dirty traits begin seeping back into our lives and we find ourselves ‘hindered’ when doors are shut. I find myself in a similar situation and to me it is as if God has quarantined me to prevent further contamination. He’s telling me it’s time to clean up and I’m asking myself how??? How can I rid myself of this pit of ‘mess’? BUT GOD just wants us to reach out because not all battles are ours. He wants us to cry out to Him in pure candor. Placing your confidence in God. He will make a way, despite what we’re facing. He opens doors that cannot be shut, preparing us for the season coming. Almighty God is soooooooo loving and He wants us all to experience His warmth. Thank you for sharing and I do look forward to further readings.

    With love,
    DWR.

    • Since this last post I have been away from my blog for a while but still seeking God to rid me of all unwanted things. Its funny that you too have asked the question I did. “How do I do it God”? And. the answer is you and I cannot rid ourselves of it, for if we could have, we would have done it already BUT God can. How? By us taking his yoke upon us because his burden is light. Now that is pure faith. That is a step of I don’t even know how to do that but I will by totally trusting God. Something I have tried and seen it work is, laying my personal thoughts aside. So though all has not been fixed, I have spent more time reading, praying (for me yes but particularly for others). This has brought me joy. Am I fixed? No but I am back at doing the things God has called me to do. All those things were on pause because I became so engrossed in myself that I forgot my business should be the Fathers business. I believe through this, lies our ultimate healing. Never think of yourself as too messy to work and fall in the trap of waiting to be fixed. That’s a terrible mastermind of the enemy. Rather tell God, fix me, pray and work. Peace, healing and joy awaits you. God bless you.

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