Blaming someone is very easy, once we have been hurt in a situation. We tend to magnify the wrongs handed to us. Everything seems to look like the wall of China, hence we begin to build up bitterness and extreme anger towards the other person or persons we feel are responsible (or should take responsibility) for what was done. There is no doubt that we hurt each other. No one person can say, they have never hurt another human being for that would be untrue. The impact of some hurts excedes others but just as sin is sin (size not mattering), hurt is also hurt.
As I stood by the door of my apartment recently, I started to reflect on some grueling situations which caused me to lash out against a group of people, particularly one person. I was furious about the way I was treated. To an extent I was taking responibility for my actions (or so I thought) because I would have said, “I know I am not perfect and I messed up sometines BUT it was my RESPONSE to the way I was treated” (Read that again). I stood up strong on that statement because it gave me a sense of peace that though I was imperfect, I was in the right. That my friend, is not taking responsibility. The blame was still being handed over to the offenders. Seeing that my desire is to live a complete life pleasing to God, he would have only allowed me to reach so far with that kind of thinking. As I looked up into the beautiful sky that morning, the Holy Spirit began to speak to me and clear as day I heard,
“Even though you were wronged, you were responsible for your responses”
WAOW! What a bittersweet moment because I was happy to hear from God but I was also being nicely scolded. That’s when it dawned on me that we enjoy blaming others, when we too have a major part to play. Our responses in situations should never be earthly based or influenced. It should always be heavenly based. Romans 12 : 1 says,
I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship – Romans 12:1 AMPC
When this verse is highlighted we always think about the physical aspect (sexual immorality etc). However, if you look at this version of the verse, it says “members and faculties”. That means everything. The way we move, the things we do and even the way we think (which is where responses are initiated); in the mind. Therefore, coming into alignment of the word, our responses should be heaven based. I know I know, “you dont know how they hurt me, you have no idea what they have done”…. these thoughts must be subdued under Christ. The earlier part of the verse says, that we need to make a “decisive dedication of our bodies”. That means, we are to completely commit (surrender) to God, so that even in the midst of pain, we should reflect Christ. It then comes down to this, we are the ones to blame for our responses in situations. No one made you do it but you. Take responsibility, repent and move on in Christ. Our goal is not to please man but to please God.
– Candace Cudjoe