Inspiration – The Walking Wounded by Secret Angel

As a former victim, Secret Angel represents the many nameless and faceless victims of abuse. No one can understand that feeling of being trapped and that feeling of hopelessness–unless they have lived it. Many people cannot understand how this can happen, but rest assured, victims never choose to be abused. They never want to be victims. They never want to live in fear.

Through this book, The Walking Wounded: The Path from Brokenness to Wholeness, more people will be able to understand about abuse and its devastating effects on its victims. Secret Angel reveals how these hidden wounds begin from childhood and intensify through stages of development, leading to cycles of abuse and victimization… until the cycle is broken. Each chapter includes Secret Angel’s true story as she walks through these stages of brokenness until she reaches a point of devastation then continues through her path of healing and restoration.

Now, as an over-comer of abuse and domestic violence, Secret Angel is reaching out to help others to also overcome their situations with information and inspiration to see THE LIGHT that led her out of a world of darkness filled with deception and various abuses. God rescued her from abuse when she was so broken that she did not even know that she was being abused. She wants to help others to join her on the path from brokenness to wholeness as she guides the readers though the stages of her own life.


Support Secret Angel by getting your copy of the The Walking Wounded. Be blessed by this woman of God. A woman with a big heart of love for all but particularly the walking wounded. Below is a review of the book by Pastor Dan Ledwith.

One of the things I have come across more often than I would like in my pastoral ministry is abuse. Verbal abuse and bullying (of both youth and adults) has been the most common, but I have had people come to me who have dealt with more serious abuse: sexual, physical, and psychological. It is a sad fact that domestic abuse is no less common within the church as it is without. This is a very difficult and complicated issue to deal with on a pastoral basis. Abusers are often good at hiding under a guise of morality and victims are too often afraid to come forward for help. Add to that, that there is next to no training about this in seminary and good tools and resources are hard to find.

I am therefore very glad to be able to highly recommend The Walking Wounded: The Path from Brokenness to Wholeness by “Secret Angel.” This is a very unique book. Each of the short chapters deals with a type of abuse and has two parts. The first is an overview of what a specific type of abuse is and overviews the roles of both the abuser and the victim. Some of the types of abuse covered are bullying, verbal, physical, sexual, psychological, and financial abuse. The second part goes into an autobiographical account of the author’s own experience with that chapter’s specific form of abuse, and how Jesus ultimately rescued her from it and took her from brokenness to wholeness.

What makes Secret Angel’s book so helpful is that it helps people outside the abuse relationship, such as myself, understand an abuser’s tactics and the victim’s mindset, as well as providing signs to look for so that they both might be identified. The book is also powerful in that it shows how God can overcome and save even in the darkest of circumstances. It is just as helpful for a person experiencing abuse: it lets them know that they are not alone, that there are people who understand what they are going through, and that God is both willing and able to give them the help, healing, and hope that they need to escape it.

It is well written and easy to read. In fact, I found it hard to put down; the autobiographical sections read like a novel, and I found that I had to keep reading to find out what happened next!

The book can be ordered here. I highly recommend this book to my readers, especially to my fellow colleagues in ministry and to my readers who are dealing with issues of abuse. I also recommend Secret Angel’s blog which can be found here.



SHARE YOUR VOICE: Break The Silence On Abuse

Join Flux and Flow in raising awareness on sexual abuse.

Speak up: Sexual assault awareness and prevention

Hey guys!

This week at the University of Oregon, various groups will be raising awareness and offering classes to educate and inform students about sexual violence and the steps you can take to protect yourself. Starting today, the University is putting out thousands of flags on the Knight Library Memorial Quad to represent individuals who are assaulted on and near the campus.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Wolfram Burner.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Wolfram Burner.

This has become a very important topic to me since I was assaulted in April. It was a terrible experience and unfortunately, I am still dealing with it. I went to see a therapist and spent many months terrified to leave my house. I knew I couldn’t let this guy get away with anything, so I spoke up. I told everyone who would listen and I did what most people refuse to do: I told the police. I didn’t want him to try and hurt me again, and I certainly didn’t want anyone else going through the hell I went through. It hurts to know that so many people are assaulted and remain silent, so I’ve been doing all I can to try and raise awareness by speaking to support groups on campus and donating to causes. If you have been a victim of sexual assault or violence, know you are not alone and you do not need to stay silent. This is your body, your rights and your life. Speak up and be proud to raise awareness. We’ll all get through this, but it will be a much smoother and rewarding process if we stand up and do this together. I believe in you.

If you need help contact your nearest support group or hotline, there are thousands across the nation that are waiting and willing to help you through this.

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SHARE YOUR VOICE: Life After An Emotional Death – Domestic Violence Survivor Story


I was 19 and in my final year of school in England. He came to our church youth group with a couple of his friends. All of them were airmen from a nearby American air force base. They looked like men compared to the spotty specimens of male teenagers at our youth group and that was exciting. Finally some christian men who looked datable !! I was raised in a conservative and fundamentalist christian household and church. This was a very sheltered environment. I was not prepared for a world in which a christian was as capable of deceit as anyone else – I was raised to trust people who called themselves followers of Jesus. I was in a for a rude awakening!

We dated and he was charming; a Southern American boy who knew how to treat a lady. I felt like a princess. All that and he loved the Lord too! It seemed to good to be true. Well it was! We married and three days later I was living in Up State New York on the air-force base which was his new posting. It was the first time I had left home and here I was – before the internet and Skype, or cheap phone cards for international calls had been invented – so far from home that apart from a letter once a week I had no contact with my family. His abuse started on the wedding night but I was so naive I didn’t know that was what it was. By the time we had arrived in America and moved into our first home on the base I was so confused by his treatment of me that my head was spinning like a top. The only way I could make sense of the fact that a person could change so much in such a short time was to personalize it and to assume that I had done or said something to make him angry with me. I could not, however, remember what that might be!

I began to walk on eggshells around him as his change of mood was unpredictable – and yet, at the same time, he was the only person I knew on the whole continent. I was depending on him for socialization and comfort. On my blog in the post titled THE CONTORTIONIST, I describe the process by which gradually this abusive man manipulated me into a distorted perspective – to see things through his point of view – and give up any trust in my own judgement. Through fear it became vital at all costs not to anger him or annoy him as I would receive “rough justice” from him – when it was nearing the time for him to return from work I would literally begin to tremble with anxiety. I was not allowed to speak to him in the mornings as I cooked him his breakfast and ironed his uniform – I was not allowed to talk to him when he returned home from work in the evening as I prepared the meal and cleaned up. I was told in the evenings – even when just sitting watching television – “you are not to require conversation, it should be enough for you that I am sitting in the same room.”.

I went out to work and made my own friends, we attended church, and went to social events. All looked normal – but behind the closed front door of our house we were anything but normal. My self-esteem completely eroded, my sense of identity was invalidated – I became a hollowed out version of my former self. I could still make no sense of it, however, because my only reference point was the cracked mirror he held up to me – the only people who knew me well enough to mirror my true self to me were back in England – and so I began to believe the words my husband spoke about me and took on the distorted, fractured self image he reflected. I eventually came to believe his words of abuse – in fact they were the only words that seemed to explain the strange situation we were in and how he was not the same man I had married. It must be me – that I am a f***ing selfish bitch – and that I provoke him. It started with pushing and shoving and emotional/verbal abuse but soon he was hitting me, having affairs and walking all over me – he refused to undertake or share any household tasks at all and whatever I did in the house or kitchen was not good enough – there was constant criticism and blame but I was still expected to provide an exciting sex life in the bedroom.
All this time we continued to attend church where he played the part of perfect christian and husband. He refused, however, to read the bible or pray with me at home because, he said, “you don’t obey the verse – “wives obey your husbands” – so why should I be in the slightest bit interested in any other opinions you might have about God or the bible?” Over 10 years and the birth of a son – this abuse continued and escalated – I struggled on and just prayed daily that God would turn me into the kind of wife that would make him pleased with me so that we could have a happy life. My balanced and healthy perspective was destroyed – I was seeing things through his eyes – because to see things any other way was to incur punishment. Over time he completed his deconstruction of me. After 10 years I was close to a breakdown – my son was 2 years old – to cut a long story very very short – I fled with my son back to England. I filed for divorce and custody – he knew where we were – I did not hide from him but I knew that if I continued in the situation it would eventually kill me and leave my son to be also treated horrendously and be raised into something other that a whole person. SO finally I was free of the marriage and won custody of my son – two hard and painful years later.
How did I now go about becoming a whole person again?
I was a hollowed out shell – I didn’t really believe I was an abused wife but rather, I thought that I was a failure as a person who could not maintain a healthy marriage because of my shortcomings – it took me many years to be able to see that I had done my best whilst in relationship with someone who was emotionally damaged and abusive. Gradually over the years – it is now 28 years later – I have been able, with the support of others – both family and professionals – and the grace of a loving God – to mend the mirror and repair the fractured image of myself.


I would not wish to relive any of those experiences BUT the suffering I have endured (whilst healing as well as in the marriage – several times I would enter into a depression that caused me to wish this life was over as the pain of abuse resurfaced and the inner dialogue stemming from his cruel and abusive words paralysed me with self-loathing and fear) and the recovery I have gradually walked into  have made me a stronger person. I am able to empathise with others – I have learnt to love myself – I have forgiven my ex husband – I have grown in relationship with God – my son is a successful business man, he is happy and secure and in a loving and stable marriage and they have just had their own child – I love my life now as I work with others who have had the self-belief knocked out of them. I work with them to restore their self-esteem and confidence. The journey has been hard but I am very happy in the place to which it has brought me to today.
ARISE: Would you like to SHARE YOUR VOICE? Please send us your story at Remember no names, no faces. Lets break the silence on Abuse in it’s many forms.

SHARE YOUR VOICE: Batter Wife Syndrome

This is a very touching piece by Osborne2029 and I ask of you to not only read but keep her sister in prayer. There are so many others like Judy who are not as fortunate as Judy, to have people speak on their behalf. Lets remember our brothers and sisters in prayer. Please pray for the abused.

Battered Wife Syndrome


My sister, Judy, wanted me to share her poem with you. She has a powerful story in her words filled with pain and anger. Could you please give me comments about how you are praying for her? Part of battered person syndrome is the feeling that you are helpless to do anything to empower yourself to  escape the living hell of your abuse.

My sister did communicate the message effectively to her husband to stop beating her up. She says the physical abuse ended a long time ago, but the emotional abuse continues.

Personally, I want my sister to leave her husband. The decision to stay or leave rests with my sister. I have prayed for her and keep praying for her to flex the wings of her own independence. She could have entered a graphic arts program with her artistic skills that likely came from my mother. There are so many things Judy could do with her life, but she feels powerless to change her situation.

Perhaps, if I was able to pass along inspirational messages from you, it might give Judy encouragement to free herself from her emotionally abusive prison. I keep on praying and hoping that she will find her wings and fly to her God-given potential.

I think it would be a real encouragement to my sister if people reblogged her poem. I think it could even be published in an online magazine or in print media.

What you can do is spread its message by sharing it with your contacts. Let’s keep Judy’s story going, because it is also the story of so many abused women.

The reference to “take back the night” is about a gathering of women walking through communities to highlight the issue of spousal abuse.

If you come from abuse or images of abuse will be too disturbing for you to read about, please read no further.

Let us pray that stories like my sister’s and mine concerning the physical and emotional abuse I experienced from my manic depressant schizophrenic father, will encourage the abused to come forward with their story.  I believe it is in sharing our stories that healing will finally happen.

Then, the prayer I made  to my Lord as a young boy that with His help I would be used to free many from their prison of abuse, will have been answered.

I cried many times reading Judy’s poem. I wanted to rescue her, to fix it, but only Christ can heal my sister’s wounded heart. Please pray for spiritual protection before reading this poem. There are dark images in it, Yet, in telling the story of abuse there will be darkness as we seek with God’s strength and His grace to lead people to the light.

Battered Wife Syndrome

Does anyone really begin to know what women go through day after day?

It’s like some women have no say.

Put the men out on the street, so they would know what it feels like to get beat

How many times did I end up on the floor?

Because how many times I couldn’t get out the door

Do this. Do that. Do this. Do that.

The psychiatrist said he would not to live like that.

When you stay in violence this is what goes on

But somehow I think somebody knew

’cause God sees everything  you go through.

What I had to go through day after day was not right.

How many times did I shake with fright?

Just to be able to sit outside

I used to take rides on my bike to calm myself down,

so I wouldn’t end up with a nervous breakdown.

Women unite.

Take back the night.

When we talk about respect, respect works both ways.

Again, listen to what I say

From broken glass to a broken door

Boy, was I sore!

No woman likes to be a battered wife.

Yes, there were times I cried.

Yes, there are times I wanted to die

Oh, if you only knew what I was going through!

No woman needs to get beat ’til they’re black and blue

This in turn can happen to you.

How many times did I take a fall?

How many times did I get my head banged against a wall?

Was it the whisky or was it the beer?

Why was I going through this year after year?

Women of the world unite.

Let’s remember take back the night.

Let’s also take to the streets to spread the message that no woman needs to get beat.

Is that any kind of life?

–Judith Frotten

Abused? There Is Hope

Reading this post by Secret Angel caused me to reflect on my life. A life that was filled with emotional abuse from childhood (from my school peers) and transcended into physical as an adult. There are so many parts of me that was broken and God had to take his mighty hands, PULL ME UP AND OUT AND LIFT ME UP. Abuse is no easy thing. Especially since the battle of the mind locks the abused into thinking that they are worthless and all other odd things about themselves. I join with Secret Angel to let you know that there is hope. God can surely do great things in your life, even though it feels hopeless now. There is hope.

HE LIFTS US UP: So Many Wounded People!

emotional wounds

As I read over some of the blogs, my heart just goes out to all of the hurting people out there… Victims of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, workplace abuse, human trafficking, bullying, etc, etc, etc. Every attack from an abuser makes another invisible wound on its victim. It destroys their self-esteem and lowers their expectations for their future. It makes them feel so hopeless! My heart aches for each one…

I feel the pain for each victim because I know how most of them feel. I have been abused, victimized and wounded by many people in my past. These blogs are an outlet for many of the nameless, faceless victims of abuse where they can safely vent and verbalize the pain of their past. I totally understand…but I can always include “hope” in my entries.

I can include HOPE, because I HAVE SEEN THE MIGHTY HAND OF GOD RESCUE ME! I have regained the hope for my children and I for our futures. I have been filled with the LOVE of my Savior, my Rescuer and my FAITH has been restored. I have been on a path of healing and restoration from the wounds of my past. I have written a book about my story, and the path of healing that I have been on. It is a path from brokenness to wholeness and I pray that every one of the “Walking Wounded” out there will find their way to that path.
FAITH.HOPE.COURAGEPrayer: Lord, I pray that people all over this world will turn to You in their struggles and realize that You are the Key to all the problems in this world. Give them hope for their futures and strengthen them to continue to overcome their situations as they hold onto You… in Jesus’ Name. Amen

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SHARE YOUR VOICE: I Am Loved – The Story of an Over-comer of Abuse

Abuse can happen to anyone. In and out of the church. Here is the story of  someone who grew up in church but still went through emotional and mental abuse. She now understands that we have to surrender it all to God and he will take care of us and as such is sharing her story of abuse into recovery with you. Maybe the situation that you are going through is similar. I want you to know that if God did it for her and many others like this beautiful young lady, then he can do it for you. The road of ABUSE is not easy but there is a detour. A detour that has restoration and reformation for your life.
I am single and now growing in Christ.  Even though I grew up in church I didn’t have  a solid rooted foundation, it was a routine but thank GOD something did stick while at church and GOD was always watching over me. I want young people to be cautious about who they let into their hearts.  Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life” is a true saying. The choices we make affects us positively or negatively.
In my teens I fell in love with someone who I believed to be the love of my life.  This was the person I believed I would spend the rest of my life with.  In all honesty,  in retrospect that was me being naive because no young person in the mid teens have the right to be in that position.  This is where I left GOD off and decided to do things my way. The good of the relationship was good; the bad was BAD. I was with a person who didn’t have the grand love ideas I shared. In fact he was with me and others at the same time.  After two years of being together I probably broke up with him five times but kept going back. You see I had a low self-esteem and being with him made me feel good, important and happy with myself.  This is where I can say that this person became my god.  So where I should have realized that this was not a right relationship for me, I idolized this person and loved this person to the point where I kept going back and accepting anything I would get from him.  I remember once being told that I’m not beautiful, I’m stupid, paranoid (for confronting him about the other relationships) and eventually I did believe what I was told. I even felt that I needed to have sex with him to “keep him”.  After all I’m in love and I believe him to be my all.  At the age of 17 I contracted a venereal disease from him, at 18 I was pregnant and had an abortion.
This church girl was now laden with guilt and shame because I aborted the life that was in me.  And it didn’t stop there, I had two more abortions. And the devil has used this over and over to tell me why I am not worthy of GOD. My breakthrough came when I realized that my way wasn’t the best way.  And I came back to who I know now to be my first love.  How can I say that GOD loves me?  Me who was promiscuous, a fornicator and someone who had several abortions? Oh yes he does –  “John 3:16 – For GOD so loved the world that HE gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”.    Don’t say that “I have done so much, GOD wouldn’t want me” Oh yes HE does.  For all have sinned and fallen short of HIS glory – Romans 3:23. And as the scripture said GOD sent His son so that we could be saved.   He is a loving and forgiving GOD.  From the time you ask for forgiveness HE does and I am so grateful and thankful for that.
Do I still live a life, like I used to?  No I don’t. In fact my desire now is to live a life pleasing to GOD and wait for the person HE has for my life.  My other desire is that young people don’t get drawn into the life I lived.  Make Christ your first love.  Sin isn’t worth it, believe me, it messes you up.  However if you are where I was, do know that you can turn to GOD and be healed of your pains and hurts and HE will fill you with HIS love and HIS peace to live a life pleasing to HIM.  And be assured that He will bring the right person into your life at the right time. – Anonymous
ARISE – Maybe you are going through abuse or you are a recovered person. We would like you to SHARE YOUR VOICE. No names, no faces, just your story. Others are depending on you to ARISE and come out or make the first step to abuse recovery. You can send your story to
If you have a prayer request you can also send it to email address above and we will be happy to pray and believe God with and for you. If you wish to share a word of encouragement, you can do so on our Facebook page. God bless. 


Since I’ve started the “SHARE YOU VOICE” forum; that is a movement where people can share their stories of abuse without giving a name or face, many has poured in. Today marks the first day of our first official release of these stories. We hope that it blesses your heart and reaches out to you, so that if you are presently being abused, you receive hope, knowing that is definitely a way out, other than death.


Abuse is a monstrous attribute underestimated by many. I believe it is an over exercising of one’s authority, it is intimidating and forceful! An abuser’s intent is to have their victim in total submission to their every command, whims and fancies.

From a very early age my life was filled with turmoil and confusion! In earlier years the word abuse was almost non-existent so my confusion was always ‘why I didn’t have a voice’. I was beaten by almost every adult under whose care I was. I was beaten by my mom and grandmother just because I resembled my dad, at least that’s the opinion I formed, almost every time I was beaten I was told ‘you are just like your dad’ other times because they thought I was ‘too rude’. As a child I openly questioned everything that was done to me, I wanted to know why everyone else had certain privilege that I didn’t, why I was beaten after every neighbor or my siblings complained against me, did I not have a side to my story? So for simply questioning I was labeled rude! I was given away so many times I wondered if I was a step child.

I was ridiculed and called names by person’s whose sentiments were considered pertinent! The voice of my parents, teachers and then husband registered as truth simply because they all called me the same names. Names like stupid, ass, jack-ass, ugly were the ones most familiar, it took me more years than I care to remember to disbelieve that I really wasn’t that way. Many days I was forced to sleep beneath mango trees after an act of disobedience, beaten with guava wood, bitten till my skin bore all because I wanted to have a say. As a child I was forced to drink pills by a relative because I said ‘I will kill myself’ I was kicked from the gallery for losing money, yes my punishments were very severe.
After a difficult childhood I met and fell in love with my then husband, one can only imagine how ecstatic I was. From a life void of love I was now experiencing what I thought was ‘real love’ until familiarity started rearing its ugly head again! I was in for a shock of my life. The man to whom I entrusted my life was now added to the list of people that seemingly took pleasure in abusing me. This abusive situation started as early as the first six months and lasted 23 years, yes 23 years. It started with infidelity, from one woman to the next. Every relationship was publicly displayed so one can only imagine the shame I endured. I fought tooth and nail to get his attention but only to be greeted with disdain. I know what it is to lay in bed with my husband and hear him say how much he love his other women, yes his indiscretion sore added to which I was called the most heinous names, beaten on several occasions.  It’s funny how deep the pangs of verbal abuse are, many days I would be home alone or traveling in a vehicle and still hear the voices of my abusers, sometimes I actually flinched at the audibility of their voices in their absence! Their voices lived freely in the deep recesses of my mind!
Some of the beatings were so horrible I actually freaked out while being beaten, I was kicked repeatedly in my stomach, knife and Chinese chopper was placed in my throat, I was “planassed” (beaten with a machete), dislocated several fingers while trying to prevent him from hitting me in my face with the cutlass. I grew so fearful of him that I never slept once he was in the house, if he lifted his hands I jumped involuntarily because I always thought he was going to hit me. After many years of threatening me and I believing him I was forced to make a decision, one that I know many of you are also fearful of making. I had to call the police and have a restraining order issued against him. You may ask ‘why didn’t I just leave’ I have asked myself the same question and the only answered was found listening to Iyanla Vasant interview with Oprah Winfrey, when asked why she stayed she said ‘bad treatment felt like home’ I felt like it was what I was used to, that’s how my life was destined to be, if my family treated me that way, then no one else is obligated to differ. A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL!
From that day I was determined to change how I feel about my life. I was about to look at my journey from a different perspective. I knew that life experience could turn out beautiful if we know what to embrace and what to desist from. Another thing that influenced my decisions was CHANGE! As a child I CHANGED many homes, CHANGED many people and locations but always ended up being abused by them all, in my mind change of persons or location doesn’t dictate a change in your circumstance! After many years, 3 damaged children and numerous death threats, insomnia, nervous disorder, alcohol abuse, sleeping pills overdose and 5 years of counseling I decided that I needed to take charge of my life. The first fact I needed to establish is that NOTHING could be worse than the predicament I was faced with. At that point the death threats became insignificant because my soul was definitely dead!
I began trusting God to take me out, I prayed night and day, at one point I even prayed for God to take my life! I am so thankful He didn’t answer that prayer simply because I would not be able to say to you my readers ‘things will get better’ but the onus is on you. You have to get involved in the change you desire. Don’t feel that one day your situation will miraculously change without your involvement, NO it requires your full participation! Abuse is a progressive attribute which simply means it gets worse once encouraged! You the abused unconsciously gave up your rights to a healthy and mentally stable life, you compromise your peace, joy and stability, yes you are very guilty of giving your life over to your abuser, unconsciously so!
TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE by saying NO TO ABUSE! At some point you have to put fear to death because that is responsible for your allowing abuse! Make God the center of your escape! He will take you out safely! But it is dependent on your Faith in His ability to do so! Coming out of an abusive situation requires awareness! You have to also acknowledge you NEED help. Do not be ashamed to divulge your story to the relevant resources. Counseling is paramount to your healing! Abuse is a vicious cycle, we regrettably allow our children to inherit abusive traits when we stay in an abusive situation. Let us allow our children an opportunity to live by the example we set! SAY NO TO ABUSE! One thing I don’t want you to underestimate is the mental, physical, psychological damage that is done to you via abuse and worse the effect it has on the children in the home.
What are you fearful of today? Are you fearful of leaving, then don’t be I am more peaceful than I have ever been in my life because I am free from mine abusers, their voices no longer resides in me, I can sleep at night knowing that they can’t harm me! Are you wondering where your next meal, rent or bill payment is coming from, well trust me I have never gone hungry one day, neither will you! Once you make the first step in the right direction everything else falls into place, I am a living proof! When I left the home I had no clue where I was going, but I watched God make provision in a way I never thought possible. His Faithfulness, Mercy and Grace are unquestionable and it’s also available to each and every one of you who needs it! Let’s collectively say NO TO ABUSE so that we can have a safer and healthier nation holistically! I am the voice of an abused women saying PLEASE free yourself from the monster call abuse so you can live triumphantly!.
God is more than able to see you through. If you need prayer or wish to share your story with us, you can do so by sending it to We will be more than happy for you to SHARE YOUR VOICE and also keep you in prayer. ARISE